The Courtesy Gap in PR, Influencer Work & Hospitality (And How We Fix It)

The Courtesy Gap in PR, Influencer Work & Hospitality (And How We Fix It)

After 16 years in hospitality, you see the full spectrum of human behavior.

You see the best of people: the handwritten thank-you notes, the genuine excitement over a family’s first vacation together, the creators and journalists who are an absolute joy to host.

And you also see … the other side.

Lately, that “other side” has been showing up more and more in my inbox.

Big asks. Last-minute demands. Months of back-and-forth and room holds, followed by silence. Then, sometimes, a curt email blaming the brand when the partnership no longer suits them.

As someone who’s spent years on the brand side of travel, lifestyle and wellness companies and now also runs a consultancy, Crafted Collabs, I live at the intersection of PR, influencer partnerships, and brand-to-brand collaborations. I see this from every angle.

Underneath it all, there’s a worrying trend:

We’re starting to forget there are humans on the other side of these emails.

This isn’t a call-out of any one person. It’s a pattern I’m seeing across creators, PR folks, and brands alike—one that erodes trust, burns bridges, and frankly makes the work less joyful for everyone involved.

Let’s talk about it.

What I’m Seeing Lately (That’s Not Sitting Right)

I’m changing details here to protect privacy, but the spirit is real.

1. Big asks, then silence

A content creator or PR person reaches out with urgency:

• “Can you pull these stats?”

• “Can you check availability for these dates?”

• “Can you get approvals on this ASAP so I can pitch it?”
  

I juggle schedules, talk to revenue teams, get approval for comped stays, pull analytics, and send everything back promptly.

And then… nothing.

No “thank you.” No “apologies, this won’t work after all.” Just radio silence.

2. “Dying” to work together… until it’s not paid

I also see a lot of this:

A creator reaches out saying they’re dying to experience the property, that it’s their “dream” to stay, that they’d “love to feature us.”

We review their work, feel there could be a fit, and offer what is—conservatively—a $2,000 vacation: accommodations, activities, amenities, the whole experience.

Suddenly, it’s “only if it’s a paid partnership.”

Now, to be clear: creators absolutely deserve to be paid. Paid partnerships are important and valid. But when they initiate the ask, we offer a high-value hosted stay, and the reply is essentially “that’s not worth my time unless it’s cash on top”—there’s a courtesy gap there.

A simple, “Thanks so much for the generous offer; at this time I’m prioritizing paid work, but I’d love to stay in touch” would land very differently than a hard pivot into entitlement.

3. Disappearing mid-negotiation, then blaming the brand

Another pattern: months of planning, date holds, long email chains clarifying terms and expectations … and then the person disappears.

In one recent case, after holding a room for months, politely nudging for clarity, and reiterating our terms multiple times, I finally received a message from the creator that essentially said:

• this “fell through the cracks” on our end,

• the partnership “was not very accommodating on dates and terms,” and

• it wasn’t “mutually beneficial” for them given their other paid partnerships and travel commitments.
  

They listed out their other contracts with major tourism boards and theme parks as if to say, “I’m in demand, so this isn’t worth it.”

Meanwhile, we’d:

• reserved a room months in advance (with real revenue impact),

• spent months emailing back and forth,

• clearly communicated expectations and limitations, and

• been nothing but professional and flexible within what’s possible for a resort.
  

That kind of message doesn’t just sting—it chips away at the sense of mutual respect this work should be built on. Why This Courtesy Gap Actually Matters

It might be tempting to brush this off as “just how things are now,” but it does matter—especially in hospitality.

1. There’s more at stake than a post

When a resort or hotel offers a hosted stay, it’s not Monopoly money. A weekend away for a family can easily be valued in the thousands. Team members adjust availability, revenue teams take a risk, front desk staff are briefed, housekeeping schedules shift.

Treating that like a disposable “maybe” isn’t just discourteous—it’s costly.

2. Your reputation travels faster than your pitch

Editors talk. PR people talk. Brand teams definitely talk. The creator who ghosts after a comped stay, the publicist who demands 24-hour turnarounds and then vanishes—people remember.

In a relationship-driven industry, how you treat people is your long-term portfolio.

3. It makes good work harder

When enough people behave this way, everyone becomes more guarded:

• Brands tighten guidelines and reduce opportunities.

• Creators who are thoughtful get lumped in with those who aren’t.

• PR pros on all sides burn out faster.
  

We all lose.

A Tiny Guide to Common Courtesy in Collaborations

The good news: this is fixable. It doesn’t require perfection—just intention.

Here are a few simple habits that go a long way:

1. Close the loop

If someone pulls numbers, holds dates, or hops on a call with you, don’t disappear. A quick message like:

“Thank you so much for pulling all of this. I’m going to pass for now, but I really appreciate your time and hope we can explore something in the future.”

takes 20 seconds and leaves the door open.

2. Be honest about where you are

If you’re only pursuing paid deals right now, say that up front:

“Right now I’m prioritizing paid partnerships. If you have budget, I’d love to chat. If not, I completely understand and hope we can reconnect down the line.”

It’s respectful and saves everyone time.

3. Be specific, not vague

“Let’s collab 🥰” isn’t a partnership proposal.

Try:

“I’d love to explore a 2-night midweek stay in exchange for one Reel, 3–5 Stories, and inclusion in an upcoming article I’m writing on winter getaways. Here’s my media kit for context.”

The clearer you are, the easier it is for the brand or PR team to get you an answer.

4. Respect boundaries and constraints

If a brand says weekends during peak season are off-limits for hosted stays, it’s not personal—it’s revenue management. If a creator says they can’t turn around content in three days, that’s capacity, not attitude.

Partnerships work best when both sides believe the other.

5. Say thank you (and mean it)

It sounds basic, but gratitude goes a long way. Thank people for:

• Reviewing your media kit

• Considering your pitch

• Pulling images or stats

• Offering a hosted stay, even if you decline
  

It’s not about being overly formal. It’s about acknowledging the human effort involved.

What 16 Years in Hospitality Have Taught Me

Working in hospitality this long, you develop a deep appreciation for the quiet, everyday kindnesses:

• The guest who thanks housekeeping by name.

• The journalist who sends tear sheets without being asked.

• The creator who tags every partner, hits deadlines, and sends a thoughtful note afterward.
  

You also see the opposite: entitlement, disrespect, and people who forget there’s a team of humans behind the welcome emails, room keys, and comped stays.

Both exist. But only one side is sustainable.

At the end of the day, most of us are trying to balance a lot—work, families, deadlines, personal lives. A little courtesy creates a huge difference in how that feels.

How Crafted Collabs Tries to Do It Differently

When I started Crafted Collabs, it wasn’t because the world needed another PR or influencer consultancy. It was because I believe deeply that there’s a better, kinder way to do this.

“People-first” isn’t just a tagline for me. It looks like:

• Treating every email as if there’s a real person reading it (because there is).

• Being transparent about limitations instead of overpromising and ghosting.

• Coaching creators and brands not just on strategy and deliverables, but on how they show up in relationships.

• Building in small touchpoints—check-ins, wrap-up notes, actual “thank yous”—so no one feels like a transaction.
  

If there is a secret to successful collaborations, I still think Maya Angelou said it best:

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

In PR, influencer work, and hospitality, that’s not just a quote for a mood board. It’s the whole strategy.

A Gentle Reminder (For All of Us)

This isn’t about calling anyone out. I’ve made mistakes too. I’ve missed emails. I’ve been slower than I wanted to be. We’re all human.

But maybe that’s the point:

• We’re all human.

• We’re all busy.

• We’re all doing our best (on most days, at least).
  

If we can bring a little more kindness, clarity, and basic courtesy into how we work together, this industry—and our day-to-day lives—will feel a lot better.

Be clear. Be kind. Close the loop. Remember there’s a person on the other side.

That’s the kind of hospitality, and the kind of collaborations, I want to keep building—one partnership at a time. 💛